Retreat Aficionado Gifts

'We bought this bolt hole to get away from politicians talking green politics.'

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

Club Antisocial

'He lives for his holidays.'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

The end of summer is near and you still haven't made plans

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

'Now try and relax - we're on holiday!'

The Snooze Bar.

"This place is nice, but what would we really do if we lived here? Lie around and be happy all the time?"

Lounging by the pool

"We're here to experience pleasure."

Cat medal presentations take a long time

America Off-line.

Happy Retirement

'I can remember when no one had even heard of t'ai chi.'

'It's not as impressive as it looks. He only watches fishing shows.'

"Noooooooooooo!"

"I want to work from home!"

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

The Common Sutra.

Man and woman on donkeys at the beach

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

Father Christmas with a psychiatrist during summer

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum.'

'Why is the jacuzzi full of grapes?'

"You know... if we don't find some ambition we could find ourselves still just laying around years from now." "Sounds good to me!"

"The sea waves on my sound machine are attracting a following."

"Are we sun-drenched or sun-dried?"

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

Power Nap, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th