Retirement Revisitor Gifts

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

My Mother Was Absolutely Certain She Would Not Succumb to Alzheimer's. She Was Wrong.

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

'Admit it,Oliver-you're getting old.'

"Why did we wait to get recliners?"

'Now that I'm retired, I have time for state and national meetings, but I no longer need the information.'

"Meanwhile at Oak Vista Rest Home... In case of birthday cake fire break glass."

After working 80 hours a week for 30 years, Raymond was struggling to adjust to retirement.

'I pleaded with Old Mother Hubbard to make adequate provision for her retirement.'

"This is highly confidential, so, yes, we built a little fort."

'Dang! The Hoopers have been force-feeding vitamins again.'

'You're lucky, you're one of our few employees that will live long enought to earn a pension.'

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

'At last you can put your feet up and concentrate on worrying about your pension.'

"You'd think having nine lives, we'd be better at retirement planning."

"Same thing every morning. Crack of Don at the crack of dawn."

"Since you retired, you've gone to pieces!"

"Some of you have opted for the Early Retirement Package."

'Before you get carried away with celebrating, Stapleton, I'd like to remind you that my retirement doesn't go into effect until five o'clock...and I'm still your supervisor.'

'No offense, but you guys with your nine lives really blew the pension fund!'

'...I expected a little more than... a sticky toffee with fluff on it.'

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

"There's more to being a pensions adviser than just handling the figures..."

Fortune Telling: Retirement Planning.

"I live for twenty four hours. How can I fund a 401 K?"

"Take my life - I'm saving my money for my old age."

"Leon rents out his time machine to people who have to go back and 'un-day' stuff that's now considered offensive."

'Walter just retired after 37 years at the shoe store.'

'Regrets? Not many, except for this list of individuals that I had the misfortune of hiring...'

'What'd ya' think the Pope was gonna do in retirement?'

"Genesis" "*The King Gus Version"