Retirement Philosophers Gifts

'I'm just saying, if our income is 'fixed', how come we're 'broke'?'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

Career Elevator

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

Balding Autumn Tree.

"It's a coming of old age story."

Personnel. I figure since every boss tells you to forget everything you learned in school, not learning anything to begin with puts me ahead of the pack.

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

'You'll have to decide - do you want to be top management in a small pond, or bottom management in a big pond?'

Mall of ages

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

There's got to be more to life than just sitting at a desk...

'I wish I could look just like Elvis.'

'Time-outs might have more meaning when I learn to tell time.'

'I started out as one of the good guys but I hated it.'

"Leaving parties aren't as much fun since they put up the retirement age!"

"I hope I age as well as you, Dad. Except for the neck."

'Will that be for here or to go - and if it's to go, can you take me with you?'

'Well, you know what the say...near death is the new 80.'

"Since you retired, you've gone to pieces!"

"Oh yeah? Well, your dad makes more, but my dad's not stuck in a high-paying job he hates but is too scared to leave."

Glass/Cans/Geriatrics.

A long way towards retirement...

'It is our hope that the salary this job offers will take your mind off it's meaninglessness.'

'Edward turned on the bathroom light only to find his father staring back at him.'

'We can't offer you the satisfaction of a gratifying career, but how does a paid week off and dental sound?'

"Apparently, 60 is the new dead."

'One of life's great mysteries...Why does it take four week's salary to pay for two week's holiday?.'

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

"Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for you."

"The senior moments don't freak me out as much as the 'Death in Venice' moments."

'Bloody warmongers!'