Retirement Home Activities Gifts

"I won! I won! I finally won $10 at bingo! I hope success doesn't change me too much."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Pilot with champagne.

Church Basement Foodie

Why Do Old Hippies Smile?

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake!'

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

Bed and Breakfast

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

'Come die with me.'

"He may be 90 but he's got the body of an 85 year old."

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

Remembering His Marbles

"We're trying to give geriatrics a sexier image..."

"How's my wife doing in the discus tryouts? I can tell you that, at home, she's hell on wheels with saucers and plates."

"Retirement was a culture shock, I still haven't mastered 'pottering'."

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

"I hate it when I walk into a room and forget why I went in there. Especially when it's the bathroom."

'...And then, apparently, it just went berserk when someone insisted on having 'Podcast'.'

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

'Now that I'm retired, I have time for state and national meetings, but I no longer need the information.'

Sunshine Retirement Villa: Pool, Golf, Tennis and Financial Planner.