Retirement Home Activities Gifts

"I won! I won! I finally won $10 at bingo! I hope success doesn't change me too much."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

Pilot with champagne.

Church Basement Foodie

Handle With Care

Why Do Old Hippies Smile?

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake!'

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

Bed and Breakfast

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

'Come die with me.'

"He may be 90 but he's got the body of an 85 year old."

Tired Woods

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"How's my wife doing in the discus tryouts? I can tell you that, at home, she's hell on wheels with saucers and plates."

Remembering His Marbles

"Retirement was a culture shock, I still haven't mastered 'pottering'."

"We're trying to give geriatrics a sexier image..."

"That's not what I meant when I suggested rocking on the porch, Mr. Clampwell."

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

'...And then, apparently, it just went berserk when someone insisted on having 'Podcast'.'

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

"I hate it when I walk into a room and forget why I went in there. Especially when it's the bathroom."

'Now that I'm retired, I have time for state and national meetings, but I no longer need the information.'