Elderly Activities Gifts

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Pilot with champagne.

Church Basement Foodie

'It could be worse. Imagine what it'd be like if we hadn't gone to that team building session last week.'

EXTROVERTS ANONYMOUS

Bed and Breakfast

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

"Retirement was a culture shock, I still haven't mastered 'pottering'."

"You're not goin' anywhere, Roy. You buried your own nuts again."

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

Love Fest 50th Reunion: Sewing any remaining wild oats encouraged!

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

'Now that I'm retired, I have time for state and national meetings, but I no longer need the information.'

When Seniors Fly

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

'Dang! The Hoopers have been force-feeding vitamins again.'

'True, I was all for your taking up a hobby on retirement, but, TIGHTROPE-WALKING...!'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

Group hug.

'Didn't anyone tell you this is an old people's home?'

"I think I speak for all of us."

As a louder and more satisfying alternative to clapping, Lily uses her bingo wings.

'What am I doing? Well, I'd planned on going to the office and goofing off...then I remembered I'm retired.'

"Agnes is so crushing on him."

"Passive-aggressive musical chairs." "You sit. I don’t deserve to" "I couldn’t possibly." "Maybe two of us could share." "Someone else go first." "I actually prefer standing."