Retired Rancher Gifts

Lunch at the Old Cowboy's Home

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

Motorherd

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

The lame cowboy with spurs on his crutches.

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

"The boss use to herd cattle before he started the company."

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

A Modern Day Cowboy and his Horse.

'How can anyone seriously believe that we sleep standing up and with our eyes open ,,,, Hello'

Timmy Works with His Pet Cow

"I prefer the mountains to the beach. I feel like less of a cow.''

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

"Big choices today Mr. retired board of directors. 2 ply or 3 ply?"

They're Brazillian!

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

'Name tag's up here, Ma'am - I'm from the Cattlemen's Delegation.

"Back in my day there weren't any delivery trucks, distribution centers and fancy computers! We just hopped door-to-door until our feet bled!"

"Listen honey, I don't claim to be no expert but I reckon you're going about this cowpuncher thing the whole wrong way."

'WOOHOO! I love Methane!'

Old man in rocking chair playing golf

Cattle barons for world domination.

"Oh, God, it's the Herefords, pretend we don't see them."

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."

'I outsourced toymaking and delivery, fired the elves and moved my headquarters here to the Cayman Islands.'

'Ooh... Bless you!'

'Saturdays in paradise.'