Retired Cowboy Gifts

Lunch at the Old Cowboy's Home

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"It's not a good sign when cowboys start waving back to the cacti!"

"Yup! Its time to feed the cattle."

Artists of the wild west.

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

"Don't forget your gunfighting helmet."

"Let's scoot."

“Hold on—wait until those people are out of the way.”

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

Wild West Text Showdown

"You lose your phone again, Rusty?"

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"This horse comes with all the hardware necessary to be fully autonomous."

Elevator/Open Range

'I'd kill for concrete.'

'Welcome aboard. Dress code is Urban Boer.'

'Ooo, two strays to add to the database.'

Old man in rocking chair playing golf

'I guess I never should have quit the rodeo'

"I don't think so, Ted!"

"Clippety clop, … clippety clop. …. clippety clop. … clippety clop..."

For a few dollars more, we can get a suite. Spaghetti Westin.

"If we don't find a place to charge these batteries we ain't gettin' this herd of tumbleweed to Kansas City by sundown."

'Dang, we're losing a lot of strays.'

'I outsourced toymaking and delivery, fired the elves and moved my headquarters here to the Cayman Islands.'

'I don't know about you, Tex, but I thought that the relationship between Elizabeth and Mr Darcy was darn tootin'.'

Old West Saloon Has Revolving Door Put In

'Saturdays in paradise.'