Retired Businessman Gifts

'Stranded on a desert island for 20 years! Well, one good thing--I'm sure my investments in AIG and Citigroup must be worth a fortune by now!'

'Irwin, you've been retired for two years. Isn't it time you stopped being a pompous ass?'

'RETIRED CEO? I expressly told them to refer to me as ‘Former Strongman.''

One retired businessman's...

'Oh, I retired from the rat race years ago. Now it amuses me to deliver the cheese.'

"Big choices today Mr. retired board of directors. 2 ply or 3 ply?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Killer Executive Suits.

Profit

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

37 years in the same position.

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

Selling lemon latt�

"What's a debenture?"

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."