Retired Executive Gifts

"Edgar, you've been retired for three years now. Why don't you loosen your tie?"

'You wouldn't know to look at me now, but I was around in the days of 'Obscene Compensation'.'

"It's sad – he thinks he still sits on the board of TWA."

Once a big time corporate higher flyer . . . Max was now living the dream on his alpaca farm.

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

'Fetching your slippers when you were chairman of the board was one thing, but now that you're an ordinary citizen...'

I thought one of them would have shown up.

After working 80 hours a week for 30 years, Raymond was struggling to adjust to retirement.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

"I hate performance review season."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

My brilliant career

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

'I am not doing nothing ... I am perfecting inertia.'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

Happy Retirement

Boss to employee: 'I'm downsizing your paycheck.'

"There's only one thing I hate more than a 'yes man', and that's a 'no man'!"