Retired Lawyer Gifts

"I'm ordering curtains for our neighbor, the Retirement Home for Lawyers Without Briefs."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

'I grew sick of Madison Avenue,so I quit,bought the bar and never looked back.'

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

'Sure, I remember using carbon paper. Does that carbon date me?'

'I planned to go to work, cancel my appointments, kick back and just relax...then I remembered I'm retired.'

The F.B.I.'s Least Wanted.

'Now that the price of gold is up, we'd like to have your retirement watch back, Boggs.'

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

"We'll go for a nice space-walk later on."

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

"I quit."

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

"Me? A retired canine officer. They let me go when they found out I couldn't smell fear any more."

"I'm a retired doctor."

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

I got my bad back from an old football injury.

'Well, I've stopped racing professionally you see, so I can enjoy good food at long last...'

"I'm sure he was a great blocker when he was playing, but I doubt he'll be a great ad blocker."

Where Are They Now?

'I see the SAGA talent scouts are here.'

"I once loved a parade."

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."