Retired Professionals Gifts

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

"Trevor left the pit ten years ago.. but he likes to keep his hands in."

A Shocking Springtime Realization

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

"'Bring your children to work day' just isn't the same since they put the retirement age up!"

"Any idiot can take the rat out of the race. The trick is getting the race out of the rat!"

'What'd ya' think the Pope was gonna do in retirement?'

'I'm not saying he's too old, but he has a five-inch floppy disk drive.'

"Being retired is okay, but it takes a while getting used to doing anything UNETHICAL."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

'I am not doing nothing ... I am perfecting inertia.'

Happy Retirement

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

'Sure, I remember using carbon paper. Does that carbon date me?'

'I planned to go to work, cancel my appointments, kick back and just relax...then I remembered I'm retired.'

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

'Now that the price of gold is up, we'd like to have your retirement watch back, Boggs.'

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

The F.B.I.'s Least Wanted.

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

"We'll go for a nice space-walk later on."

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

'Admit it,Oliver-you're getting old.'

"He was just a year away from retirement."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

'Fetching your slippers when you were chairman of the board was one thing, but now that you're an ordinary citizen...'