Retired Farmer Gifts

"She just said 'To hell with this put-out-to-pasture bulls**t. I'm hittin' the open road!!'"

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

Prize vegetables.

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

International Women's Day.

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

Chase me, chase me cows.

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'The circle is complete!'

Humans...What is their purpose?

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Pumpkin patch

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

But is it organic?

'Life is great' down on the farm.

The Rooster Comedian.

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

'Steak Ted?'

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'Cow in love'

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

"Black or white, Vicar?"