Retired Neighbor Gifts

"'Golden' years, my a**...."

"Why bother?"

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

The Great Pyramid of Geezers

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"First time pruning?"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

Canape?

Neighbor Leaf Wars

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"He loves his leaf blower."

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

7 Dwarves of Retirement

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'