Older Neighbor Gifts

"Seniors again. Grabbed an armful of polka CDs and just waltzed right out."

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

Senior Citizen Matinees. . .

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"First time pruning?"

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

"Why bother?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

$1: Family Secrets

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

Canape?

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"He loves his leaf blower."

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

Thank you bubbles