Older Friend Gifts

Gen X in the Golden Years.

As his hearing worsened, Larry had to buy louder and louder clothes.

'Oh, retirement is okay, I guess, but I miss looking forward to the weekends.'

I've always said ignorance is bliss, but what do I know?

"Just when I thought I had all the answers, I forgot what the questions were."

"Those once-in-a-lifetime events are beginning to add up."

passenger attempts to board a London bus with a lobster.

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

'Thinking back though, I'd have to say we all had a bloody good financial crisis.'

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

'Maybe you need to work on your poker face.'

"I'm trying to determine if the aches and pains are from an injury or just my new normal."

Senior Moment: Feasible Reasons You May Have Had For Walking Into This Room.

'The little punks were waving a red flag at me! In my youth, I would have given them a run for their money!'

'I qualify for the senior citizen's discount, girlie, but how about you just give me the money instead?'

'I qualify for the senior citizen's discount, girlie, but how about you just give me the money instead?'

Heavy meals on wheels

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"Honestly, John, I'm not angry! I was going to suggest you give up driving even before you hit my car in the parking lot!"

Got any lightbulbs that don't make me feel like it's the last one I'll ever buy?

"You've still got it Joao."

"So when did you learn to read wallets?"

"Got anything that will expire before I do?"

'This new app shows you where all your friends are!'

Reminiscing with Two Old-Timers

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Sorry, my mind was wandering. Were we complaining about today's youth, the government or the weather?"

"Wrong! I've got a full time job. . . it's called old age."

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"Unlike you, I don't have philandering tastebuds!!!"

'When the poor dear retired, he found that he missed his little cubicle.'

'We're at that age when you feel invisible...'

Old Farts Keep Right.

'Don't be silly, dear. You don't look a day over one hundred eighty three.'