Retired Military Officer Gifts

'No, old generals no longer fade away! We're in demmand as TV news commentators.'

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Neo-International Law

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"Postwar is hell."

Military Medals

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

Happy Labour Day: While you enjoy that last long weekend of summer, remember...there are some folks who aren't taking the weekend off.

UNFADED GLORY

Lost around a military base.

Moustached gentleman

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

'Wouldn't it be cheaper to apologise to the Middle East?'

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

Defence Cutbacks.

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

"Pinpoint havoc, gentlemen, accuracy of mayhem. And yet our dress blues remain crisp and sharp, our hands soft and pink."

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

'This conspiracy theory nonsense MUST end. Any suggestions?'

Ted often though back to those good old days when he was king of just the jungle.

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

Charades

Split Decision

"Especially modified you say..."

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

Old veteran walking in sun casting a giant shadow as a young soldier

Tattoos sagging with time

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

'So, what do you want to talk about?'