Retired Law Enforcement Gifts

'I'm coping.'

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

'I grew sick of Madison Avenue,so I quit,bought the bar and never looked back.'

Happy Retirement

Old veteran walking in sun casting a giant shadow as a young soldier

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

Tattoos sagging with time

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

'Now that the price of gold is up, we'd like to have your retirement watch back, Boggs.'

'Sure, I remember using carbon paper. Does that carbon date me?'

The F.B.I.'s Least Wanted.

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

'I planned to go to work, cancel my appointments, kick back and just relax...then I remembered I'm retired.'

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

"We'll go for a nice space-walk later on."

Investigating Yourself

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

"Me? A retired canine officer. They let me go when they found out I couldn't smell fear any more."

"He was just a year away from retirement."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

'Not now Kato!'

Excessive Paperwork

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."