Retail Stories Gifts

'There's supposed to be 56 million bubbles in a bottle of Champagne -- I only counted 54, 325,775.'

Larry's used art

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

A women in a shoeshop.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

How Amazon was invented

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

Sale.

D.I.Y

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

'Let's send her a text message; 'You're FIRED!''

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

"Where can I find the lefts?"

Corner Bakery ... Bread and Breakfast.

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

Berries, Roots, Tubers, Stems, Leaves.