Retail Stories Gifts

'There's supposed to be 56 million bubbles in a bottle of Champagne -- I only counted 54, 325,775.'

Larry's used art

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

A women in a shoeshop.

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

'I'd like to return this, please.'

Hardy Annuals

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

How Amazon was invented

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

D.I.Y

Sale.

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

"Where can I find the lefts?"

'Let's send her a text message; 'You're FIRED!''

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

Corner Bakery ... Bread and Breakfast.

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

Berries, Roots, Tubers, Stems, Leaves.

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."