Retail Adventures Gifts

Let's go inside. And remember: Your internet shopping habits won't help you here. Mall. Huh? What're you wearing? You look ridiculous. It's nothing. Let's head into Target. It's a midweek sale. If we get separated, I'll bring you a medic. Uh, okay. Medic? In-person shopping melee! Medic. Soft-underbellied e-commerc shopper in aisle two! Where am I? Can I return to my homepage?

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"How was work?"

Myths and legends...

Sale.

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

SupermarketAwful Market.

'Our giant sale now on!'

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

'A penny for my thoughts. Now accepting all major credit cards.'

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

Large Very Fresh Eggs

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

'She's O.K. Thanks all the same... She's just 'shopped 'till she's dropped!''

"I've had a very trying day. I've tried on dresses, shoes..."

A building covered in signs reading 'boats'.

"I love holiday shopping, but with all the scams this time of year I must be careful."

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

Awkward customers.

"I invented 'shopping' and I haven't seen my wife since."

Wild fruit

'Brilliant idea, Simkins, the old price was actually higher than the present one!'

Final clearance sale.

'Don't just stand there doing nothing! Sell yourself a suit!'