Retail Experiences Gifts

Extended warranty on the sales guy.

'Congratulations!... You're our one millionth dissatisfied customer!'

Awkward customers.

Complaints department is a mirror.

"May I focus my customer frustration on you with the understanding you're powerless and it's nothing personal?"

"He's about my height but he doesn't have my build."

10 Items or Less. Express Only. Don't worry --- I plan to pay for them ten at a time.

"Retail-shopping re-enactors."

Express Checkout: One Basket Only.

"Of course it's in its original packaging. I'm returning it because it's impossible to open!"

"You guys have sold me wrong parts three times! Your ad says 'Auto y Rod employees are the friendliest experts in town.' What can we do about this?"

"How was your weekend?"

"l'm returning this to the manufacturer in my own impenetrable clamshell packaging. They must suffer as I have suffered."

Larry's used art

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

A women in a shoeshop.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Is the MSG local?"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'I'd like to return this, please.'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

How Amazon was invented

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

Hardy Annuals