Retail Experience Reliver Gifts

Sorry no toilet paper. We were wiped out!

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

A young couple selects items from a shop.

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."

"Buying me a new pair of shoes would go a long way toward making this world a less dangerous place."

Customer Convention

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

Self-Checkout.

Last Chance for Everything.

"Can you estimate how much money you'll need for your mid-life crisis?"

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

Brick and Mortar

"I've been window-shopping..."

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

"The boss is mad at me. I did something really, really dumb today!"

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

'Don't just stand there doing nothing! Sell yourself a suit!'

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

'Look, another Now Available store is opening! Maybe yo could get a job there. They seem to be opening stores all over town!'

'Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit me at the store, but you know, I am working.'

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

You know retail is in a bad way when...

'No thanks, just looking.'

"They came up with a new class of anti-depressants that will inhibit compulsive shopping."