Retail Experience Reliver T-Shirts

Sorry no toilet paper. We were wiped out!

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

A young couple selects items from a shop.

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

Customer Convention

"Buying me a new pair of shoes would go a long way toward making this world a less dangerous place."

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

Last Chance for Everything.

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

Self-Checkout.

"Can you estimate how much money you'll need for your mid-life crisis?"

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

"The boss is mad at me. I did something really, really dumb today!"

Brick and Mortar

'Don't just stand there doing nothing! Sell yourself a suit!'

"I've been window-shopping..."

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

'Look, another Now Available store is opening! Maybe yo could get a job there. They seem to be opening stores all over town!'

Man goes from instant cash machine to instant spending.

"We've got an emergency out here, Doctor - a compulsive shopper with buyer's remorse!"

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

'Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit me at the store, but you know, I am working.'

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.