Retail Therapy Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Surprise! It's my birthday."

"Fill out this survey and tell us how great we are and Randy won't follow you home."

Good customer service.

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

'My wife's a Keynesian - she's always spending herself out of depressions.'

"Can you estimate how much money you'll need for your mid-life crisis?"

A Street in the Philosophy District

'Look, another Now Available store is opening! Maybe yo could get a job there. They seem to be opening stores all over town!'

"Look, I'm going to need a better description. It so happens a LOT of people have lost their innocence in the past few years!"

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

'You shop we drop.'

"Don't blame me, it was you who suggested meeting outside of a shoe shop."

'Oh my gosh, what are you doing giving out our credit card information online?!!!!'

'There are some very persuasive salespeople out there.'

'Dear valued customer, due to your lack of discipline and total disregard for your credit limit, you're the customer of the month.'

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

'How am I going to pay for all this stuff?'

"I'm thinking something in a cheddar."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

"Agnes has singlehand decided to save the global economy!"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"I need a teeny tiny handbag so I don't have to stow away my husband's wallet, phone and reading glasses."

Big Al's Sporting Goods...Stress management consultant on duty!

"Bring on the cold weather - my credit card is already dangerously over-heated."

"Would you mind telling me what customers who bought this item also bought?"

"Take all the time you need, but be advised due to supply chain issues and rising inflation the price may be adjusted accordingly."

"How do you get some help around here?"

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

Service with a Smile - Subject to Availability

Buying expensive, impractical shoes may help to relieve depression.

"There was a half price sale so I was able to buy twice as much."

"Money doesn't make you happy? Have you tried spending it, Mr. Thurlow?"

'What's it going to be - paper or plastic?'

"Well, maybe money can't buy happiness, but I'm willing to try."

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.