Retail Experience Chuckler T-Shirts

3 Guys Threatening to Move to New Jersey

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Where can I find the lefts?"

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'She's O.K. Thanks all the same... She's just 'shopped 'till she's dropped!''

Frozen Food - Pick Your Own

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'I worked briefly in a Fine-China shop, but it didn't work out...'

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

Awkward customers.

"I need one of them and one of them..."

"It's weeder's elbow."

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

Express Checkout: One Basket Only.

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

'We believe in treating all our customers as individuals...this, for example, is individual no 76/KLC/PO/2387A.'

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

The 29p Shop

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

'Bless you!'