Retail Experience Chuckler T-Shirts

3 Guys Threatening to Move to New Jersey

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Where can I find the lefts?"

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'I worked briefly in a Fine-China shop, but it didn't work out...'

Frozen Food - Pick Your Own

'She's O.K. Thanks all the same... She's just 'shopped 'till she's dropped!''

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

Awkward customers.

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

"It's weeder's elbow."

"I need one of them and one of them..."

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

Express Checkout: One Basket Only.

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

The 29p Shop

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

'We believe in treating all our customers as individuals...this, for example, is individual no 76/KLC/PO/2387A.'

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

'Yes, I did receive your resume. As a matter of fact, I'm passing it around the office as we speak.'