Retail Philosopher Gifts

"I shop, therefore I am."

Barcode Curtains

'I'm the same as you - too sick to go into work, but well enough to go shopping!'

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

A young couple selects items from a shop.

Only One Item or Fewer.

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"Buying me a new pair of shoes would go a long way toward making this world a less dangerous place."

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

SupermarketAwful Market.

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

Last Chance for Everything.

'Our giant sale now on!'

Self-Checkout.

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

"Can you estimate how much money you'll need for your mid-life crisis?"

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

"I've been window-shopping..."

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

'Don't just stand there doing nothing! Sell yourself a suit!'