Marketplace Philosopher Gifts

'Are you sure this isn't the point in which we should stop following the invisible hand of the marketplace?'

Crap: An Overview

"We're a monopolyopoly. Our company that owns 13 subsidiaries which put on a darn good imitation of competition."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"I shop, therefore I am."

"You don't whisper anymore."

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

Only One Item or Fewer.

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

Worked Well In Groups...

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

'Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?'

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

'I'm very worried that if we fail to introduce rigid protocols to maximise client gratification indices within acceptable costbenefit parameters to ensure enhanced margins...then we'll have missed the whole point of what Christmas is about!!!'

"I can't understand it, we did quite well in the first three quarters.

Primordial Schmooze

"The secret is to ask yourself: what would someone who's successful do?"

'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'

Who's In Charge Here?

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

Sign: Globo Corporation: A company on a journey to find its authentic self, guided by the traditional disciplines of Western Capitalism.

Teaching evolution in the business schools.

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

We're changing from 'tried and true' to 'fly by the seat of our pants'. So, I'm afraid you're out, Tom !

"Wow! Boss! I thought she was a silent partner."

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

'I propose a cooling off period of 100 years?'