Meat Market Philosopher Gifts

'Do any of us die of old age?'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Surprise in the salad bowl

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

A boy who loves cows/burgers

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"Is it free-range?"

"First you make a roux."

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

The Politics of Food.

'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

"I can't have anything that's a food."