Meat Market Philosopher T-Shirts

'Do any of us die of old age?'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Surprise in the salad bowl

A boy who loves cows/burgers

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"Is it free-range?"

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

The Politics of Food.

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

"First you make a roux."

'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

"Eating a diet rich in vibrant colors does not mean a bowl of Skittles."

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'