Market Philosopher T-Shirts

'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

'Eddie, it's the market's way of saying 'there are other important things in life besides money.'

'The Dow goes up. The down goes down. Yin. Yang.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Stock market investment advice

'It's crunch time, Caldwell. That's the time between when you're born, and when you make your first million.'

Flat tax - equal burden?

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'My ambition used to drive the economy. Now it drives my Mercedes.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

Tempest in a Teapot

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

"Money is life's report card."

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

Economic Downturns

'Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?'

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

Worked Well In Groups...