Marketplace Philosopher T-Shirts

'Are you sure this isn't the point in which we should stop following the invisible hand of the marketplace?'

Crap: An Overview

"We're a monopolyopoly. Our company that owns 13 subsidiaries which put on a darn good imitation of competition."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"I shop, therefore I am."

"You don't whisper anymore."

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

Only One Item or Fewer.

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

Worked Well In Groups...

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

'Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?'

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

'I'm very worried that if we fail to introduce rigid protocols to maximise client gratification indices within acceptable costbenefit parameters to ensure enhanced margins...then we'll have missed the whole point of what Christmas is about!!!'

"I can't understand it, we did quite well in the first three quarters.

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

"The secret is to ask yourself: what would someone who's successful do?"

Primordial Schmooze

'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'

Who's In Charge Here?

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

'And to think I was worried it'd be lonely at the top!'

Sign: Globo Corporation: A company on a journey to find its authentic self, guided by the traditional disciplines of Western Capitalism.

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

'I propose a cooling off period of 100 years?'

We're changing from 'tried and true' to 'fly by the seat of our pants'. So, I'm afraid you're out, Tom !

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."