Shopping Philosopher Gifts

Only One Item or Fewer.

Shopper reading Shopenhauer in bookshop

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Killer Executive Suits.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

Toadstools

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

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