Retail Philosopher T-Shirts

"I shop, therefore I am."

Barcode Curtains

'I'm the same as you - too sick to go into work, but well enough to go shopping!'

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

Only One Item or Fewer.

A young couple selects items from a shop.

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"Buying me a new pair of shoes would go a long way toward making this world a less dangerous place."

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

SupermarketAwful Market.

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

Last Chance for Everything.

Self-Checkout.

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

'Our giant sale now on!'

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

"Can you estimate how much money you'll need for your mid-life crisis?"

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

"I've been window-shopping..."

'Don't just stand there doing nothing! Sell yourself a suit!'

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."