Coffee Store Philosopher T-Shirts

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"I shop, therefore I am."

"You don't whisper anymore."

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

Only One Item or Fewer.

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

Unbeknown to others, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

Continental Drift.

"Turns out it's easier to live at work than work from home."

Hipster Coffee

Jay McInerney

'Consummatum est.'

Aw, @#$%, just go to business school. EMU. The Practical Muse.

"I wish there was an easy answer but there's a sexual subtext to consider...even if you are comliant in meeting my needs am I subconsciously placing you in the sexually subservient role or nurturer and provider."

...Five ways for the cities-towns to raise money...

'You can do whatever you want here... as long as I don't find out about it.'

"I can see the green shoots of recovery. The fag butts are getting longer."

New Belief Systems

'I'm the same as you - too sick to go into work, but well enough to go shopping!'

"Put some spiritual food in there."

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

Irregular Fruits and Veggies: "It's our inner beauty that counts..."

Shopper reading Shopenhauer in bookshop

I have to admit, I enjoyed that fruity concoction you convinced me to try. In light of that, I will extend to you a brief respite from my usually relentless attacks upon your character.

"They want to turn the clocks back?"

Waiting for Petraeus