Coffee Shop Philosopher T-Shirts

Continental Drift.

"I'm only writing fake product reviews until I find someone to publish my novel."

"So what do you do?" "I'm a writer." "No I mean what do you do for money?"

...Five ways for the cities-towns to raise money...

Google. Bing. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Google. Google! Bing, Bing, Bing! Amazon! Stop changing the subject.

"I keep it on to remind me that I managed to escape a life of crime before I was in too deep."

Herb and Fran go human watching.

"I can see the green shoots of recovery. The fag butts are getting longer."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"It's a novel about quarterly reports."

"Sir, your sitting here and drinking coffee while simply musing is making our guests uncomfortable."

Sadie, listen to my new political theory. If you rub my feet. That's a fair trade, you talk and rub. I'll listen. One foot. One foot and I won't run off. Two feet and I'll actually. Listen. Two feet but you have to wash them first. Deal. House of Java Cybrcafe. I get to use Powerpoint. No renegotiations!!!

"We're close to being reliant solely on renewable sources of outrage."

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

When I was a kid, I dreamed of going to medical school. I wanted to be a psychiatrist. Really? But I was great at football, wound up playing in college and got derailed. Everything came so easy. Who needed medical school? House of Java.net Cybercafe. But maybe what really happened was that I suffered concussions, and lost my drive and ability. and not I just hang out all day and serve as a sex object for hot chicks. Worked out beautifully. I need to get some concussions.

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Meanwhile at a caf

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

I saw your "free wi-fi" sign. Yes, it's free for customers. False advertising! If I have to buy something, it's not free! Ok. The password is "buysomethingorgetout." Is that upper-case or lower?

I have to admit, I enjoyed that fruity concoction you convinced me to try. In light of that, I will extend to you a brief respite from my usually relentless attacks upon your character.

"They want to turn the clocks back?"

"Now I'll never finish my novel."

"I hate his stupid dog!" "I love my little dog!" "I give them six months."

"You don't whisper anymore."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

And I intend to fill it. For nature abhors a vacuum.'

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

"I don'y know about you guys, but I don't feel like I've lost one goddamn bit of my feminity."

Still Coffee Runs Deep

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?