Café Philosopher T-Shirts

"I don’t want to get married but I’ve always loved the idea of being a widow."

"My analyst said I should channel the emotions of my divorce into an activity or pastime. Matador comes to mind."

'He said I was one in a million but forgot to tell me about the other nine hundred and ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"You don't whisper anymore."

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

And I intend to fill it. For nature abhors a vacuum.'

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Still Coffee Runs Deep

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

Continental Drift.

"Turns out it's easier to live at work than work from home."

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

Jay McInerney

'Consummatum est.'

"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."

"I wish there was an easy answer but there's a sexual subtext to consider...even if you are comliant in meeting my needs am I subconsciously placing you in the sexually subservient role or nurturer and provider."

'You can do whatever you want here... as long as I don't find out about it.'

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

...Five ways for the cities-towns to raise money...

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

The It Tastes Like Cr*p Because Its Healthy Cafe

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."