Retail Marketer Gifts

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

'With every DVD you get a free newspaper!'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

Larry's used art

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'How fast can you hype?'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

Dressed for Success!

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

A women in a shoeshop.

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

Creative department