Retail Fanatic Gifts

"I'm thinking of becoming a personal shopper." "What's that?" "It's where you buy things for people who are too busy to go shopping themselves." "I mean, I love to shop. I love it more than almost anything." "They say if you love your work, you never 'work' a day in your life." "To each his own, I guess." "I love everything about shopping. From the seductive 'OPEN' sign, to the supple checkout lines."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Sale.

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

SupermarketAwful Market.

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

"I'm afraid it's two, three months, tops, before you're all pants."

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

'Our giant sale now on!'

"Baby, with your money and my money, we could really buy places."

"I got it in the sales."

'Good to know my whole social life hasn't been a complete waste.'

Choosing What To Wear.

'He wears a necktie like he means it.'

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

"The boss is mad at me. I did something really, really dumb today!"

'Now that's what I call a beautiful fit.'

'A penny for my thoughts. Now accepting all major credit cards.'

"I like what you've done with your apartment and your clothes."

So it's a short back and sides, but leave the horns!

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

"I didn't realise it was a formal do."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: After a Fashion

100% Bombast-Filled Parka

'My barbie's got a hot date she needs some slag-rags.'

"I don't know...to me it seems like a cry for help."

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

'That's not the northern lights! It's new strip mall!'

The trouble was she never knew where to draw the line