Resume Rhapsodist Gifts

'I went to Harvard until they found out I was there.'

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

Resume Dumpers

'I'm working because I've been upgraded. He never upgraded so he's out of work.'

"These are excellent qualifications... so good that our largest competitor would gladly pay you twice as much."

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Great Poets of Catalogdom

Poetry Buff.

'I have never seen a resume prepared in pastels and oil paint. How long have you been unemployed?'

"Never gets old: yes, 'See you in a while'..."

Your performance since you came here suggests you may have lied on your resume.

'My resume,...in rap form!'

"References? Well, I just got six references from the guys in your waiting room."

'Let me start by saying I wish I had your imagination...'

"I've got some skills - I'm just not sure they add up to a 'set.'"

'A resume painted in oils on canvas? How long have you been out of work?'

"Permission to speak in rhyming couplets, sir!"

"The whole thing is basically fiction. But I just thought my resume could use some spice."

'If you want to see my resume, it's on my cave wall.'

"A vibrant imagination is an excellent quality for the job...but not the CV."

'I'll stop saying you've changed jobs too many times if you'll stop giving me notice.'

Employment Dept. Fill Out Job Applications Here. This application form has too much space for "work experience" and not enough for "leisure activities."

Renaissace Music Lovers

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

'Nana nana, Bo Fana, Banana Fana, Fo Fana Fee Fy Banana.'

'Sorry, but I have to put 'Orca': Who would hire a 'Killer Whale'?...'

'... and I especially like this attribute... 'an immigrant's work ethic'.'

"Your resume was good, up until the point where you said, 'Don't make me beg.'"

'But you got a second interview, that's something.'

'I haven't gotten to your story yet. I'm laughing at your resume.'

'I would've hired you if you had fudged a little more on your application.'

'Poet Laureate' door 'Gone to lunch-back twixt 2 &3'