Resume Rebel Gifts

'I don't have a resume. I f you need information, just Google me!'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

NOW HIRING, 'I don't have any formal training for the position, but I've read all the relevant Wikipedia articles.'

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'Very interesting. How many bird calls do you know?'

'This is the worst CV I've ever seen!'

'According to your resume, you've accomplished very little and left no paper trail. Very impressive.'

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

Resume Consultant. Listing professional development courses you've taken since your last job was fine, but don't put"New & Improved" above your name.

'The LACK of a resume indicates that I don't need one.'

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

'You state on your resume that you want to work very little, but get paid a lot. I do appreciate your honesty.'

'What do you mean my resume isn't that impressive? It's the most expensive one I could find on the internet!'

"Instead of a traditional resume, I thought it would be more impressive if I acted out my work experience in a one-man play. Scene one. . ."

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

"I gotta be me!"

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"Sarge, he says he wants to make a 'fashion statement'!"

Non-Uniform Day Today.

'I have never seen a resume prepared in pastels and oil paint. How long have you been unemployed?'

'He's determined to not pay for The Times online.'

Rugby Player

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

"Why always a book report? Why not ever a TV show report?"

"You know... this would be as good a time as any to rotate the tyres."

'Chairman of the Bard' at a poetry magazine.

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

'There's a group here to see you about a class action!'

Monsanto

Interviewee: 'Nah, work related stress isn't a problem - I've never taken a job seriously enough for it to bother me!'

Must... Remember...

"Every piece of paper you see is here for a reason: I haven't thrown it away."