Resume Advisor Gifts

Ethics exam cheater.

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

Continuing education.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

U of Debt

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

Your resume begins Once Upon A Time...I like that!

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

"Typical company, I'm the only woman!!"

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'