Resume Advisor Prints

Resume Advisor. I'm not sure "internet troll" is a resume enhancer.

Ethics exam cheater.

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

Continuing education.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

U of Debt

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

All Hail the Matriarchy

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

Your resume begins Once Upon A Time...I like that!

"Just go with the workflow."

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"Typical company, I'm the only woman!!"

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'