Restaurant Satire Fan Pillows

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

'A formal inquiry could take months, sir, and still be inconclusive.'

'Waiter, is it raining?' ] 'Sorry, not my table.'

"Chicken 'Laissez-faire'?"

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'Instead of one of our dishes you want to eat me? Just a minute, sir.. I've go to ask the manager.'

Dinner at the Mortgage Restaurant.

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'

The PARTISAN CAFE: "For or against section?"

"Barkeeper! More chick-peas!"

"We've had to update our restaurant's motto."

"A Mister 'Ty Gurr' wants to reserve a table next to our fattest customer."

Two ducks in restaurant, one without a beak, "Can I get my bill, please?"

"Oh waiter! Will you pass me the anticoagulant please?"

"Soup of the day? Mumbo Jumbo Gumbo."

'I know I'm getting lots of complements, but the damn waiters are conspiring to not tell me!'

Mad cow disease spreads to other ranches

'There'll be a short delay, sir -- your businessman's lunch is under investigation.'

"You can have my doggie bag as a tip."

... Harold at the stomach pump.

'Take no notice, I fired him ten minutes ago.'

"I don't think the new guy is working out."

'Could you be a little more specific than angel food?'

'Can't you read?'

"How is everything?"