Resort Town Warrior Gifts

Resort town boxing champs

'I really crammed last night.'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

Lounging by the pool

'Doris,do you realize you are destroying a perfectly happy marriage?'

Thank You For Not Asking If I's enjoying My First Vacation in 20 Years.

'I'm looking for a toothpaste that combats Tokyo, Kansas city and Suburban Portland along the gum line.'

'Instead of a black belt, some of our older students, like Mr. Mertz here, prefer the black suspenders.'

Your computer is not fully protected...

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

"The doctor will see you in a week - if you could still be ill a week on Wednesday."

"Next time you want me to swallow a camera, just wrap it in bacon!"

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

"You'll get a lot of head injuries but, on the plus side, you won't remember any of them."

"My day? Don't even get me started!"

"Hahaha! What's wrong Dorky Nerdmire? That's your name isn't it?"

Gladstone's Retirement

'...Hello?...Holidays From Hell...?'

Excess Baggage: The airlines will hold your connecting flight just long enough so you can watch it leave without you.

Welcome to Palm Springs.

'I could kiss it and make it better, but it's not covered by your insurance.'

Dr. Godot's waiting room.

Nate was a bus driver's nightmare for tours that stayed in a different hotel every night.

"Is it me, or as the rent goes up, does the apartment actually shrink a little?"

'I've waited so long that my body went into over-drive and healed itself!'

"I what way do you see your Chronic Fatigue Syndrome affect your job?"

"That was just a simulation. Nothing can prepare you for the kind of monkey bars you'll find in an actual war zone."

Five-year or 5,000-mile heel-to-toe warranty with 24-hour roadside assistance.