Resort Town Warrior Gifts

Resort town boxing champs

'I really crammed last night.'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

Lounging by the pool

'Doris,do you realize you are destroying a perfectly happy marriage?'

The waterslides are fun, but the water seesaw, not so much.

Thank You For Not Asking If I's enjoying My First Vacation in 20 Years.

'I'm looking for a toothpaste that combats Tokyo, Kansas city and Suburban Portland along the gum line.'

Knights' Status Report: Rusted out, Metal fatigue, Popped rivets, Bad welds, Squeaky hinges, Dents and dings.

We were out of little umbrellas, so I added a bit of sunscreen!

'Instead of a black belt, some of our older students, like Mr. Mertz here, prefer the black suspenders.'

Your computer is not fully protected...

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

"The doctor will see you in a week - if you could still be ill a week on Wednesday."

New diet. Look. 1,000,000 visitor. Buy. EOA. Survey. Tired of . Eye test for internet users.

"Next time you want me to swallow a camera, just wrap it in bacon!"

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

Seriously? Boom! Pow, pow, pow!

"You'll get a lot of head injuries but, on the plus side, you won't remember any of them."

Excess Baggage: The airlines will hold your connecting flight just long enough so you can watch it leave without you.

Gladstone's Retirement

'...Hello?...Holidays From Hell...?'

"Hahaha! What's wrong Dorky Nerdmire? That's your name isn't it?"

"My day? Don't even get me started!"

Welcome to Palm Springs.

'I could kiss it and make it better, but it's not covered by your insurance.'

'Anyone want to learn how to do a leg sweep? How about a roundhouse kick? it's ok, your parents know who I am!'

Dr. Godot's waiting room.

Nate was a bus driver's nightmare for tours that stayed in a different hotel every night.

Why do medical test results always come back on a Monday so we have to wait through the whole weekend to get our life-and-death results? You've signed a mouthful.

Wild And Wacky Water World!

"Is it me, or as the rent goes up, does the apartment actually shrink a little?"

'I've waited so long that my body went into over-drive and healed itself!'

"I what way do you see your Chronic Fatigue Syndrome affect your job?"

"That was just a simulation. Nothing can prepare you for the kind of monkey bars you'll find in an actual war zone."