Vintage Warrior Gifts

'Instead of a black belt, some of our older students, like Mr. Mertz here, prefer the black suspenders.'

Knights' Status Report: Rusted out, Metal fatigue, Popped rivets, Bad welds, Squeaky hinges, Dents and dings.

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

'I really crammed last night.'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

Mod Kwan Doh

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"

Information Macht Frei

'You're too aggressive.'

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

'Actually, I find the destroying more satisfying than the nation-building.'

"Unfortunately, our user-friendly toaster is warranty-unfriendly!"

"The doctor will see you in a week - if you could still be ill a week on Wednesday."

Genius Bar

Actualities - Dream of the inventor of the needle-gun on All Souls' Day

'Razed any good cities lately?'

And this computer comes with a three year warranty, but of course it'll be obsolete in 6 months.

Nancy Wake -French resistance fighter WW11

Your appliance maintenance agreement just expired. I'm here for your appliance...'

"Hopefully I'll have enough frequent pillaging points after this trip to get a new sword!"

'I could pop the hood to take a look, but that would break the manufacturer's seal and void your warranty.'

'Once upon a time there were some me with big sticks, and these men, they said to everyone else...'

"Shoo!"

"Oh, great, the warranty is up."

GOP: 'I didn't come to Washington to champion the midle class! There's no money in that!'

"Hey! I got a lot done in one day!"

"We save all the original packaging in case we have to return something."

"No for your lifetime, just for ITS..."

Dr. Godot's waiting room.

Why do medical test results always come back on a Monday so we have to wait through the whole weekend to get our life-and-death results? You've signed a mouthful.

'If he's forgotten my birthday again, he can cook his own supper!'

'- See you when we land, Simkins. I'm travelling First Class and I booked you economy, of course...'

'All those years I rode those small bikes...well, as you can see, those days are over.'