Heritage Warrior Gifts

Protecting Historic Landmarks

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"We missed you at church Sunday."

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

"Not tonight, Jon. I have to clean for the cleaning lady."

A Successful Wedding Party Returns From the Hunt

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

Knights' Status Report: Rusted out, Metal fatigue, Popped rivets, Bad welds, Squeaky hinges, Dents and dings.

Information Macht Frei

"He's retreated into nationalism."

Whack-A-Chore: "You play it all day, every day, until you can't anymore."

'You're too aggressive.'

Planner at work.

'Instead of a black belt, some of our older students, like Mr. Mertz here, prefer the black suspenders.'

"My family's been working this land for at least 400 years...!"

'Actually, I find the destroying more satisfying than the nation-building.'

"Sorry, I'm only allowed to save humans, not refugees. Here in the EU we've got humanitarian values, you know?"

Early Resentment Towards Yuppies.

Psychotic mood swing.

The Eternal Battle Over Who Is More Tired

oh no - here comes the national trust again...

Vote

Bridezilla

"Hopefully I'll have enough frequent pillaging points after this trip to get a new sword!"

"Daddy, I know you gave me away, but can you take me back?"

"Shoo!"

'What - are you deaf? He said, ‘I do.' Let's move it along.'

Boris Johnson related to Mummy

GOP: 'I didn't come to Washington to champion the midle class! There's no money in that!'

'Once upon a time there were some me with big sticks, and these men, they said to everyone else...'

Second marriage vows.

Pass It Down Economics...

"I got rich by hard work. Someone else's."