Playground Warriors Gifts

"That was just a simulation. Nothing can prepare you for the kind of monkey bars you'll find in an actual war zone."

"Tommy and Ben are like Green Berets, Dan and Jerry are Navy Seals and me and Scott are like private contractors."

"Hahaha! What's wrong Dorky Nerdmire? That's your name isn't it?"

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

'Red rover, red rover, send Billy right over!'

Playground Pipe Dreams

Children playing football.

We encourage the playing of games with other children.

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

'Nice Header, Lauren!'

The waterslides are fun, but the water seesaw, not so much.

A little boy is crawling through a sandbox towards his mother as though he were dying of thirst in a desert.

'I won't bother to bath Mum, we're playing again tomorrow!'

A boy with a football

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'

Bouncy Castle: May Cause Happiness

"You're young enough to play tag, but not old enough to borrow my phone to play phone tag."

Headphone swing

school kids playing conkers

"Don't be scared, David! Mommy's here with your crumb of validation."

Harry Potter playing see-saw with his broom.

"This is where I come to unwind."

"I bet you kids are all losing your minds without a wi-fi signal."

Fencing Lessons

"He goes to a real party preschool."

'In the old days this was considered a play station,'

'Make it quick, Mom! I've got to get back and finish my mud pies.'

Balloon Boy

'He never has an energy crisis.'

Seriously? Boom! Pow, pow, pow!