Resort Lounger Gifts

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

'I cleaned over thirty fish today.' - 'That takes guts.'

Honey remember what I said about feeding the birds.

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

Sunbathing in the park

Rock - see you in a million years!

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

The Old Lady Bobbing-Around-In-The-Ocean Classic.

Lighthouse Hammock.

'Typical it's cloudy all week, the the weekend arrives and it's too sunny to do any gardening.'

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

'You are doing it wrong.'

"You can migrate without me - I'm staying here this year."

'I prefer to do absolutely nothing on holiday....otherwise the shock's too much when I get back.'

"I'm thinking this might e a good area to set up base camp."

Man sleeps beside 'do not disturb' sign as an alligator sneaks up on him.

'Ask me about my portfolio.'

"Delivery."

"I'll bet a lot of people wish they had a royal palace to return to."

Leaves falling from a roof garden.

"Isn't it about time to switch from your warm-weather chair to your cold-weather chair?"

"How?"

'I've still got the fire in my belly, but for the next two weeks I'm solar powered.'

"Chill, Paul. I'm on staycation."

"Sorry Honey, I'll be about thirty years late for dinner tonight."

'I'm able to live the American dream by getting paid in Euros, running my business form an offshore tax haven and getting European style universal health care.'

"Honey, you're not working on your computer? You're taking this vacation thing a little too far, aren't you?"

Champagne and Oysters

"Stanley, we're into the summer doldrums again, aren't we?"

'Perhaps the fish don't realize you have a license to catch them.'

'I'd say the couch is contouring a bit TOO much to their bodies.'

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

Skiing

'Oh, the old 'worm on a hook' trick, eh?'