Resolution Rebels Gifts

It's resolution time!

"I know this sucks, but just think of how awful we'll feel tomorrow."

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

Resolutions: Avoid Stuff that's bad for you. . Stop lyring to yourself about making resolutions.

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

Make your resolutions achievable.

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"I hate this time of year."

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

"New Year's resolutions are fine, but we should really focus on squad goals."

'Have you figured out our New Year's resolution?'

'My whole family made New Year's resolutions. Dad's eating more fruit, Mom's eating more vegetables, and I'm eating more cake.'

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

'I can't read my New Year's resolutions -- I must have spilled beer on them last night.'

Wild Animal Park. How are the animals doing with their new year's resolutions? Good! The gazelle is trying to slow down and enjoy life, and the sloth is exercising more! What's the goat's resolution? To be more careful about what he eats? No, he just wants to spend more time with the kids this year. I heard the doe made a resolution to save some money. You misunderstood, Ernie. She didn't make any resolutions for herself. Her goal this year is to convince the male members of her specie

D I E T F We said we'd stick together this time, but we really knew it would only last a day or two.

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"Writing is... rewriting."

'My Ed is a lawyer. All of his New Year's resolutions have escape clauses.'

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'