Resolution Rebels Pillows

It's resolution time!

"I know this sucks, but just think of how awful we'll feel tomorrow."

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

Resolutions: Avoid Stuff that's bad for you. . Stop lyring to yourself about making resolutions.

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

Make your resolutions achievable.

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"I hate this time of year."

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

'Have you figured out our New Year's resolution?'

"New Year's resolutions are fine, but we should really focus on squad goals."

'My whole family made New Year's resolutions. Dad's eating more fruit, Mom's eating more vegetables, and I'm eating more cake.'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

'I can't read my New Year's resolutions -- I must have spilled beer on them last night.'

"Writing is... rewriting."

'My Ed is a lawyer. All of his New Year's resolutions have escape clauses.'

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

"So what are you planning on giving up for New Year?"

"I'd like to make a supper reservation for 12 disciples + 1, and could you put us at a table big enough so we can all sit on one side."

"This year I'm going to lose weight!"

The Ten Resolutions