Resolution Breakaway Pillows

"Well there goes the last of the NEW YEARS resolutions."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"It's all a matter of planning...."

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

Make your resolutions achievable.

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"I hate this time of year."

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

'Have you figured out our New Year's resolution?'

'My whole family made New Year's resolutions. Dad's eating more fruit, Mom's eating more vegetables, and I'm eating more cake.'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

What can I get you? Ham sandwich with extra cheese. Double banana split. Side of sugar. Coming up, sir. I am abandoning my New Year's diet! If you're gonna go down, go down in flames. Burn these gym clothes!

Remember how I came in on December 31st and ordered a lardo-size fudgsicle sugarbomb mocha with butter sprinkles? Well, give me another one of those. Since it's something I originally had last year, it'll be like I had this one last year too. So it won't violate my New Year's resolution. The ancient art of Time-Shift-Fu. I'm a tenth level grand master. I studied under Moe Yin, the master who created "it's not really 'cheating' if it's with an ex."

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

If it makes you fell any better, I had to make seven New Year's resolutions, and I'm sure I'll break every last one. Ice cream.

'I can't read my New Year's resolutions -- I must have spilled beer on them last night.'

"We're cutting back on therapy. You?"

'My Ed is a lawyer. All of his New Year's resolutions have escape clauses.'

'Honestly you could drive a 'coach and horses' through this document, there's no definition of 'weight loss', no time frame, no sanctions.'

'I'm here to sign up for a membership since the muscle shirt didn't work.'

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

What does the world need most this time of year, minion? Make no sudden movements. It needs to not feel guilty about all the broken New Year's resolutions. I'm not following you. I've created and artificial intelligence program that combs everything posted by or about you on social media ... and then decides your New Year's resolution for you. For instance, yours is to ask out Mbege Anyango from Cameroon. The A.I. was determined she's your soul mate. I've ... I mean the A.I. ... has taken the li

"This year I'm going to lose weight!"

Realistic resolutions 1. Give up drinking (until you have a terrible day on January 7th) 2. Exercise (until you realise it is too cold and you are too tired) 3. Eat healthy food (until you remember that you love - and in fact need - an enormous plate of mac 'n' cheese)

"So what are you planning on giving up for New Year?"

Okay, now we've got a quorum!

The Ten Resolutions

'I made up my mind to spend less time on line, and I was doing real well 'til they brought the computer back from the shop.'

Gym Resolutions